Why Don’t You Talk to Someone?

Every single person in the entire world has bad days, do not let anyone tell you that the perfect combination of exercise, healthy diet, maybe some zanax and positivity can protect you from a BAD DAY… although it helps. Have you ever been there, where you feel completely sad or mad or angry and you know that you just need to talk to someone in order to feel better?

I was there today in that spot, I had a terrible day and was feeling all the low feelings and it began to spiral out of control. I reached out to my boyfriend who told me that I was being selfish for trying to ruin his fun night out. He told me “Why don’t you try to talk to someone?”…… um hello, thats exactly what I am trying to do right now and thats the reaction I got. I decided from here to reach out to my sister, whom told me I was being silly and stupid and I just need to deal with it. She said why are you feeling this way, and I said I feel like I just am having a tough time and theres no specific reason. She said well “Why don’t you try to talk to someone?”…. um hello I keep trying. She told me that I have so many supportive people in my life. Except I called the two most important and neither of them had the time or patience to comfort me.

We wonder why people commit suicide, or suffer through their depression by themselves without going to someone or asking for help or addressing their issues. I can’t count the number of times I have said to my boyfriend that his one friend is very obviously going through a hard time and has been for years now. I see his cries for help, the ones that his friends ignore. Instead they spend their fridays complaining about how lame he is for not coming out tonight, and how he is a bad friend, and he used to be cool. They don’t see that he is crying for help, they do not see that he needs some slack right now, they wish he would try and get better or talk to them…. but he does, and they do not see it.

People do ask for help and come forward but it is often ignored, shut down, invalidated, or simply misidentified. Speaking from experience, when you undergo those feelings and you finally build the courage to open up to your friends or family and they react poorly like that, it makes you certainly question whether you should open up again.

I unfortunately have had people that I know commit suicide. There friends all get together and say “I wish they came to me” “I wish they would have just told me what was going on” ” I wish there was something I could have done to make it better”…..

These same friends I heard talk months and months earlier about how he is severely depressed and needs help. These same friends knew that he was at a lowest of lows and instead of taking action, reaching out, or making a move they sat from the sidelines waiting to see what would happen. Cries for help in this case where extremely obvious, but just ignored.

Tonight, I told my boyfriend that I had extreme anxiety and terrible feelings inside and that I needed him to be there for me. He was nothing but cruel back and I am so beyond hurt at the way he reacted that I do not even know how to feel towards it.

Note to self. When someone tries to talk to you really listen, really try to be there for them regardless of what is going on at that moment in time… oh and also, Get a new boyfriend.